1. Three people were injured during a stampede for Indian mangoes at a grocery store in Newark, New Jersey.
2. Vivek Ramaswamy secured the Republican nomi- nation for Ohio governor by winning more than 80 percent of the vote in the primary election.
3. Ramaswamy claimed that he would have won more than 90 percent if he had brought his A-game to campaigning.
4. Portraying FBI Director Kash Patel on Saturday Night Live, comedian Aziz Ansari said, “I’m a trailblazer. I’m the first Indian person to suck at their job.”
5. Kash Patel filed a $250 million defamation lawsuit against Saturday Night Live.
(2 and 4 really happened.)
Compiled and partly written by Indian humorist MELVIN DURAI, author of the novel Bala Takes the Plunge. [Comments? Contributions? Please email us at melvin@melvindurai.com. We welcome jokes, quotes, online clips, and more.]