Wellness: Why self-healing is the best form of self-care
In the fall of 2023, I felt immense pain in my right shoulder. It spread to my arm, back, and underarm. Even a simple tap on my shoulder aggravated the pain. It took me weeks to get an appointment with a specialist. By then, I had lost significant mobility in my right shoulder. I wasn’t sure if I had broken something on the right side of my body.
My yoga practice as well as weight training got impacted. I stopped Zumba or anything else that could worsen the discomfort. The only exercise I could carry on was walking. For me, workouts are an important way to nourish my mental health. I was starting to feel annoyed and stuck.
At my first appointment, the doctor did an X-ray and got me started on physical therapy. I told the doctor that I felt something was stagnated, and I wanted my qi or prana or energy to move again. Fortunately, this doctor understood that writing and movement are how I navigate stress and de-stress. She said her intention was for me to return to the yoga mat by the holiday season. The doctor confirmed there was no reason to believe that I had any broken bones, thank God. She asked if I wanted to take a cortisone shot to alleviate the pain; I refused. Ayurveda teaches us to address the root of the disease. A painkiller would numb me for a few days and then what? I wanted to know: Why had my shoulder become like how it was out of nowhere? What had triggered the pain? Could we reverse it?
During one of my physical therapy sessions, the therapist suggested that I try acupuncture. It could complement my physical therapy and help lower the pain. Traditional Chinese medicine explains acupuncture as a technique for balancing the flow of energy or life force—known as chi or qi (chee)—believed to flow through pathways (meridians) in your body. By inserting needles into specific points along these meridians, acupuncture practitioners believe that your energy flow will re-balance. In contrast, many Western practitioners view acupuncture points as places to stimulate nerves, muscles, and connective tissue. Some believe that this stimulation boosts your body's natural painkillers.
The first time we met in his office, the acupuncturist asked about my stressors. “All adults have life challenges,” I told him nonchalantly. I shared that I eat, breathe, live, and think mindfully. He started to ask deeper questions. I felt he could see through everything... including my tough exterior and humor that I was using to distract him. He read my pulse and asked about my personal losses. I choked. The holistic practitioner (me) was now the patient, and I felt so vulnerable.
The acupuncture doctor looked into my eyes, “We have to release the sadness.” I felt a tear in my eyes. The month of May in 2023 had drowned my family in losses when we had unexpectedly lost both my father and father-in-law within two days of each other. I have written about this multiple times. But what did it have to do with the pain in the right side of my body?
I am paraphrasing what he said: Strong women take care of everyone but forget themselves. They hold onto their stress and grief; and as a result, their heart chakra is often blocked. Remember I had told the western doctor that something felt stagnated? When the heart chakra is blocked, the lungs don't function optimally. Our breathing impacts the circulation—which is what was happening in my case on the upper right side of my body.
Here I was writing and speaking at companies and colleges about stress management. I was coaching one-on-one clients about navigating stress and nourishing their mental health. But what I didn't know was that the pain in my right shoulder was because of my unresolved grief. And the layers of baggage that come with it. I needed to work on self-healing.
After just the first acupuncture session, I was able to cry—which I hadn’t been able to in months. Release. Release. Release. In taking care of two funerals, two families, two cities, two countries, two fathers, two griefs... I had barely wept. The role of crying is important as a mechanism that allows us to release stress and emotional pain.
I was able to return to the yoga mat after the second acupuncture session and practice modified sun salutations. When I went back to my doctor for a follow-up, she was astonished at the rate at which my shoulder and back were healing. When I told her what the acupuncturist said about my heart chakra, she didn’t seem surprised. The mind-body connection is something a lot of younger Western medicine practitioners are beginning to accept. In fact, she conceded that I didn’t need to take any medication or do any physical therapy but continue with acupuncture sessions to heal the shoulder as well as my heart.
Though I have a while to go before I can become pain-free in my shoulder, acupuncture has offered me perspective in new ways. As the prana moves through my body, I bring my arms overhead (which I was unable to for over two months); and as I look at the sky, I am reminded of possibilities. As I press my palms and bend forward, the stagnated energy releases from my body and brings a sense of lightness. It helps me let go. It takes away disappointments, expectations, heartache, anger, and attachments. As my heart chakra gets slowly unblocked, I accept people for who they are and not what I wish them to be. On some days, I am even able to cry, which is a way to enhance self-healing.
Sweta Vikram, an Ayurveda-based life and wellness coach and a graduate of Columbia University, helps people thrive on their own terms.
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