Family and Communal Values: The Need of the Times
In Georgia’s Indian American community, Ashwin Ramaswami is no longer a stranger. His bid for the Georgia State Senate has attracted significant media attention, including a report in The New York Times titled “The 25-Year-Old Georgia Senate Candidate Looking to Unseat a Fake Trump Elector.”
Ramaswami’s opponent, Republican incumbent Shawn Still, in an email correspondence with the reporter of The New York Times, stated that Ramaswami lacks “life experience” because he “still lives at home with his parents.”
It’s not surprising that Still, who has been criminally indicted on seven counts related to interference in the 2020 presidential election, would cast such aspersions on his opponent based on cultural ignorance. Despite it being a shrill attempt at political scoring, this stereotypical characterization could resonate with many of Still’s constituents because most Americans equate an adult living at home with parents as dysfunctional or dependent behavior.
In many ways, the U.S. excels as a cultural melting pot where assimilation is relatively easy. Yet, the chasm between Eastern and Western culture is so vast, especially concerning family life, that it would be unfair to expect Americans not to equate living with parents in adulthood as anything but a weakness—because many of them have not been exposed to cultures where this is both normal and successful.
While independence is undoubtedly valuable, it’s a fallacy to believe it can only be achieved by striking out alone. In over 30 years of community observation, I have been impressed by young Indian American entrepreneurs and professionals who have had blazing success in their 20s in fields such as hotels, convenience stores, and IT. Many of them have upheld the Indian tradition of living in a joint family—described in American parlance as “living at home with parents.”
In India, this has been the dominant way of life. Millions of CEOs, political leaders, entrepreneurs, trailblazers in various fields, and even mob bosses whose names instill fear, “live at home with parents”—or, as one could say, their parents live with them. By their mid-20s or around the time of marriage, the “child” typically begins to assume the role of the head of the household.
Every cultural practice has pros and cons, but I have seen the advantages of multigenerational living. Often, it enhances rather than diminishes capabilities. It certainly is more conducive to happiness because life is ultimately about caring, loving, and building interpersonal relationships—not merely acquiring more tricks to assert personal independence and performance.
In contrast, I’ve observed the loneliness and selfishness that often accompany a family structure where young adults are subtly or overtly expected to move out shortly after their teen years. For many, this begins when they leave for college. While branching out can strengthen the “muscle” of self-reliance, newfound independence can also be a license for unbridled self-indulgence, promoting an undisciplined lifestyle of waking up at odd hours and focusing only on personal desires.
With rising rates of loneliness, mental health issues, and suicides, it may be time to question the societal trend of individualism over family values. When I look back at my childhood in India—where we were indebted to family and community rather than personal indulgences—I am grateful for the sense of camaraderie and responsibility it instilled in me.
Parthiv N. Parekh is the Editor-in-Chief of Khabar magazine.
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