DESI SATIRE
TRI-VALLEY PHONY-VERSITY
When Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) shut down a fake university in California, about 1,500 Indian students found themselves in trouble. They had come to America on student visas, but didn’t attend classes regularly. Some may have been duped by agents into enrolling at TVU, but perhaps others were taken in by the writing on the university’s website ( http://trivalleyuniversity.org). Here’s a sampling:
Regarding admission requirements: “The required GPA for graduate admission is 3.0. There is no specifically number for undergraduate admission.”
Regarding financial aid: “Student loans are an important resource, but should be considered as a last resort. It is danger to borrow too much and accumulating high indebtedness.”
Regarding career placement: “This website maintains an employment posting service that provides members of the community companies the opportunity to list jobs opening. Curently, the posting are companies still look for hiring and has come crossed us in the recent months.”
DID THAT REALLY HAPPEN?
1. An Indian-American engineer was sentenced to 32 years in prison for selling military secrets to China.
2. Starbucks Corp. unveiled an alliance with India’s Tata Group.
3. Bobby Jindal and Nikki Haley met privately in Baton Rouge, raising speculation about an all-Punjabi presidential ticket in 2012.
4. An Indian-American attorney was nominated to New Jersey’s Superior Court.
5. The Intel Science Talent Search named 40 finalists and only a quarter of them were Indian Americans.
(1,2,4 and 5 really happened)
DESI FUN ONLINE
AASIF MANDVI
The Daily Show correspondent appears on Riz Khan’s show “One on One.”
AMI DANG
A tune from the Baltimore sitarist’s debut album.
Compiled and partly written by Indian humorist MELVIN DURAI, author of Bala Takes the Plunge.
[Comments? Contributions? We would love to hear from you about Chai Time. If you have contributions, please e-mail us at melvin@melvindurai.com. We welcome jokes, quotes, online clips and more.]
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