Though “Indian” and “American” have been woven together
to create a new identity, says PAYAL FADNIS,
the two cultures continue to exist—somehow—on different planes.
Every time I go to India, I experience a feeling
of isolation and exclusion. Wearing a colorful
and flowing salwar, I resemble the many Indians
around me. Or so I think. As soon as I open my
mouth to speak, all eyes fall disdainfully on me.
Their penetrating and accusing stares peel back my
flimsy disguise to reveal the truth underneath.
I’ve been discovered. I am not one of them. I am an
Indian-American.
We stick out, as naïve and innocent as newborn
children, not fully understanding the importance of
tradition and religion. I am an outsider sent to infiltrate
the carefully crafted structure of Indian society. RB, a
young Indian-American, recalls an occasion when she
was accused of being a “terrorist” from America, come
to destroy the Indian way of life. Others have revealed
that their opinions on Indian politics and lifestyles
have been cast aside with the claims that Americans
simply cannot understand how things are run in India.
In the United States, we are ridiculed and judged
for the color of our skin and a culture others do not
understand. For every considerate individual, there are
plenty of racist and ignorant masses that make being
an Indian-American difficult.
Our abilities and passions are governed by unwritten
presumptions. With stereotypes dictating other’s
impressions of us, we are forced to conform to the
mold. We are expected to be doctors and engineers.
We are expected to eat only curry. We are expected to
fail athletically. We are expected to join the IT profession.
Even within our own society of Indian-Americans,
we constantly struggle with whether to
take the safe route and follow the examples
set by others—or take the risk of losing
respect by making our own paths.
Despite the many things that make
Indian-Americans feel like outcasts, there
are just as many reasons to enjoy the mixing
of cultures. We have the strong support
of our families, amazing food, and
the rich heritage of India, along with many
opportunities in the U.S. and the freedom
to choose our paths. Our roots allow us to cultivate
and contribute to the American melting pot, molding
and shaping it into a celebration of heritage and
backgrounds. We have been able to mesh together two
cultures that are very different from one another to
construct a culture of our own.
Being an Indian-American is a paradox. There
are different levels of cultural mixing in the lives of
so many Indian-Americans. Some grow up learning
everything about the rich heritage their parents left
behind, immersing themselves in the clothing, food,
and religion. Others are cut off from their background
by parents who wish their children to fit in with
Western society. Although Indian-Americans will
never truly belong to either world, they have certain
advantages from each culture.
I am conflicted, yet comfortable. Attacked, yet
safe. While being judged, I am also accepted. I am
amazed by the amount of culture that I am exposed
to, yet extremely uncomfortable with the scrutiny
from both sides. Although at times it is difficult to be
an Indian-American, I fully embrace my cultural status.
The mixing between Indian and American culture
has given me my identity as a person. That identity
affects me, whether the effect is positive or negative.
I am the bridge that stretches across land and sea to
bring together two very different worlds.
Payal Fadnis is a junior at Northview High School, Fulton
County, Georgia.