If you’re a frequent airline traveler, you
probably know that most airlines charge an
extra fee for checked baggage. They also limit
you to one carry-on bag and a personal item
such as a handbag.
Many passengers find themselves in
a quandary: they want to avoid paying the
baggage fees, but don’t want to restrict
themselves to just a few belongings. For some
travelers, the solution is to stuff as much
as they can into their carry-on bag, even if
they have to find an elephant to sit on it to
compress its contents.
But this solution doesn’t work for everybody,
partly because elephants aren’t as common as they
once were.
Another solution is to wear as many layers of
clothing as possible, even if you end up looking like an
elephant yourself. If you can wear all the clothes you
plan to take on your trip, you can create a lot of space
in your carry-on bag for the rest of your belongings.
You might even be able to take your rice cooker on
vacation with you.
This solution may sound good in theory, but it
doesn’t work that well in practice. Wearing two pairs
of trousers might be easy, but getting into the third pair
will probably be hard. You might need a bigger size.
Another problem, of course, is adjusting to
your new girth. You may struggle to fit into the
airline seat. Other passengers might give you some
unsolicited diet tips.
The biggest problem is that the extra clothing
might make your body a little too warm. That’s what
happened to James McElvar, a 19-year-old singer for the
Scottish band Rewind. Flying from London to Glasgow
recently, he decided to save some money by wearing
six t-shirts, four sweaters, three pairs of jeans, two
pairs of sweat pants, a pair of jackets and
two hats.
“It was impossible to walk, I could
barely get on the plane,” McElvar told the
Daily Mail.
He planned to take the extra clothing
off during the flight, but before he could do
that, his body temperature soared and he
passed out from heat exhaustion.
Lucky for him, an
off-duty paramedic
helped revive him, and
he was eventually taken
by ambulance to a hospital.
But he did manage
to save 45 pounds in
airline fees!
It might have been
wiser for McElvar to stuff
all that clothing over his
stomach and act like he
had a beer belly. That
works better, of course,
if you’re an older man.
It also works better if you’re a woman who’s willing to
look pregnant to save a little money.
During a recent flight in Australia, a travel journalist
named Rebecca Andrews was caught doing that.
She had created a pregnancy bump out of clothes and a
laptop charger.
It wasn’t the first time Andrews has pretended to
be pregnant to save airline fees. “I think a woman has
the right to do whatever she wants with her body, including
faking a pregnancy made out of laptop wires,”
she told CNN.
But what about all the women who are really pregnant
and have to endure suspicious eyes from airline
staff? Is it fair to them?
No, but at least the airline isn’t charging them an
extra fee.
Airline clerk: “May I ask if you’re pregnant?”
Passenger: “Yes, I’m in my eighth month.”
Clerk: “Do you have a ticket for the baby?”
Passenger: “He’s not born yet.”
Clerk: “If he’s flying with us, he needs to have a
ticket. That’s our new policy.”
Passenger: “New policy? Well, in that case, I’m not
really pregnant. This is just extra clothing I’m hiding
under my shirt.”
Compiled and partly written by Indian humorist MELVIN DURAI, author of the novel Bala Takes the Plunge.
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