It happens to me at least once a month: I almost
steal a car.
Well, I don’t quite enter the car, but I come
fairly close. The only thing that stops me is that my key
doesn’t work.
The problem, as you may have guessed, is that my
car is a little too common in my town. I drive a white
Honda Odyssey minivan and, for whatever reason, so
do a lot of other people.
When I walk out of a store and look for my car,
my memory often plays tricks on me and I walk to the
first white Honda Odyssey I spot. If I’m lucky, I realize
that it’s not my car before I attempt to open it. Usually
a bumper sticker or some empty coffee cups in the car
tip me off. “Wait a minute,” I tell myself, “I didn’t go to
Starbucks a thousand times.”
But once in a while, I use my key remote to try to
open the car. When it doesn’t open, my first reaction is
to curse Honda for making an inferior remote. But just
when I’m about to bang on the door, it occurs to me
that perhaps this isn’t my car.
I look around and spot another Honda Odyssey.
That must be my car! I’m about to enter it when I
notice the bumper sticker: “Make America Great Again!”
I move away as fast as I can. Where is my car?
It takes me a minute to find it—and another
minute to get the remote to work (it really is an
inferior remote). Then I’m finally on my way, thankful
that I didn’t steal a car.
I don’t know why so many other people had to buy
the same car that I did. Couldn’t they have bought a
different color, at least?
You may think that it would be impossible to
accidentally steal a car, but it happened recently in
Portland, a city in the U.S. state of Oregon. A woman
named Erin Hatzi told the local newspaper, The Oregonian,
that her red Subaru was stolen from her driveway.
The accidental thief returned it the next day, claiming
that she was supposed to pick up a friend’s red Subaru
from the neighborhood, but picked up the wrong car
instead. She left a note of apology and enough money
for gas.
Here’s the troubling part: her key worked on both
cars! According to police, keys for older Subaru cars are
sometimes interchangeable.
This wasn’t an isolated incident. A woman in New
York City accidentally stole a Honda Accord in 2004.
Her key worked on another car! A Honda rep called it a
“rare” occurrence that a key would work on more than
one car.
I can’t help wondering how many other keys are
interchangeable. Is it possible that the key for my
Honda Odyssey works on other Honda Odysseys? Perhaps
it’s unlikely, but even if it’s remotely possible, it
would a problem for me. I don’t want to be an accidental
thief. I don’t want to accidentally end up in prison.
Just imagine if I drove away in the wrong car and
didn’t notice the wrong children sitting in the backseat.
I’d be an accidental kidnapper! When the jury sees my
face, do you really think they’d believe me?
I wish car manufacturers would do everything
they can to prevent something like this from happening.
It’s not just keys that need to be unique; it’s also
other aspects of cars. I know it would be hard for colors
to be unique, but surely they could have a wider variety
of colors. What’s wrong with pink or purple or violet?
I don’t know about you, but I’d be willing to drive a
pink car if it keeps me out of prison.
Compiled and partly written by Indian humorist MELVIN DURAI, author of the novel Bala Takes the Plunge.
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