I recently spotted an article in The New York Times
entitled “Deepak Chopra’s Tips for a Healthier Hotel
Room.” I was quite excited to read it. After all, Chopra
is a New Age spiritual leader, as well as a doctor who
specializes in alternative medicine, so isn’t it about
time that he shared his expertise on hotel room health
with us?
When I think about hotel room health, I mainly
think of two things: (1) bed bugs; and (2) dangers to
children.
Bed bugs have been a major problem in recent
years, but if you stay in a good hotel, you probably have
nothing to worry about. If you aren’t sure whether
a hotel is good or not, here is an important tip: Good
hotels change bedsheets after every guest stay. Bad
hotels change sheets after every guest complaint.
Guest: “There are several stains on my sheets.”
Hotel manager: “That’s just a pattern, sir. Many
people like our patterns.”
Guest: “You have a pattern of poor hygiene!”
Manager: “No need to get angry, sir. Art is in the eye
of the beholder.”
Thankfully, I haven’t encountered bed bugs in any
of my hotel stays, but I have been concerned about
dangers to my children. That’s partly because my kids
have a tendency, whenever we check into a hotel room,
to explore it thoroughly.
The first thing they do, of course, is jump on
the beds. I’m not sure why they do this, but I don’t
complain, because it probably helps to get rid of any
bed bugs.
Exploring a hotel room also involves crawling
under the bed, tapping on the windows, pushing the
buttons on the air conditioner or heater, testing the
shower in the bathroom, and, of course, turning on the
TV. These may seem like the harmless actions of inquisitive
minds, but something unexpected could happen
to hurt them. For example, the shower might be
too hot, a loose spring might poke them under the bed,
or Donald Trump might suddenly appear on the TV.
Chopra does not address potential harm to kids
in his hotel health tips—and neither does he mention
bed bugs. But he does say that we should be concerned
about germs. Many hotels have duvets—soft quilts filled
with down, feathers or synthetic fibers—with removable
covers that are easy to wash, but if you’re staying
at a hotel that doesn’t have such duvets, Chopra suggests
requesting that your bedspread be washed. I’ve
never done this, but I’m going to give it a try next time.
Me: “Has the bedspread in my room been washed
recently?”
Hotel manager: “Recently? Yes, it has been washed
recently.”
Me: “This century or last?”
Manager: “This century, of course, sir. We opened
only 12 years ago.”
Chopra also suggests using anti-bacterial wipes
to clean objects that are handled often, such as TV remotes,
door handles, and telephones. This can be a little
bit of a hassle. Instead of following Chopra’s advice,
I’m going to make sure that I don’t touch remotes, door
handles, and telephones in hotel rooms. I’ll let my wife
do all the touching.
To improve air quality in a hotel room, Chopra advises
opening a window and letting in some fresh air.
Letting in some fresh air is a good idea, but in certain
parts of the world, including Delhi, you might also be
letting in a few monkeys. Next thing you know, it’s not
just your kids jumping on the beds.
Chopra also advises us to maximize natural light
when staying in a hotel room, partly by requesting
a room that faces the street rather than another
building. We should also unplug the alarm clock and
other devices that produce artificial light, he says. This
is good advice. Next time I stay in a hotel, I’m going to
immediately unplug the alarm clock and TV. I may also
unplug my laptop computer—as long as my battery is
well-charged.
Compiled and partly written by Indian humorist MELVIN DURAI, author of the novel Bala Takes the Plunge.
[Comments? Contributions? We would love to hear from you about Chai Time. If you have contributions, please email us at melvin@melvindurai.com. We welcome jokes, quotes, online clips, and more.]
